Dean faces Charlie's death
by misha-cutie-pie
Summary: After Charlie's death Dean gets mad at Sammy, at Cas, at everyone. He needs someone to remind him of who he loves. Sam and Cas can help him with that.


**This takes place in episode 10x22 (which I won't watchuntil thursday). It's based on the promo, which left me extremely worried about what will happened, and this came into my mind. Also this is my first fic and english is not my language, so, sorry for any mistakes I made.**

After Charlie's death Dean felt the anger in him raise as the hours went through. He, still in shock, took her body from the bathtub, covered it, and placed it at the back of the car. Then Sam and him burned the body and, in that moment, Sam decided to say out loud what he was thinking:

—"I'm sorry-"

+"Shut up. You don't get to apologize. She's dead and it's your fault. I'm taking down whoever did this, they'll pay for what they did to her"

—"I'll help y-"

+"Don't even dare to say you'll come with me. I can't trust you, you lied to me, got Cas and Charlie into lying to me, and look how it all ended. I can't take you with me. Bye Sammy"

And like that Dean got in the Impala and drove far away of Sam, away from Charlie's body. The main reason he didn't take Sam with him was that he was scared of what he could to him, what the mark would make him do to his brother. He couldn't risk Sammy's safety like that. He knew he had hurt his brother, but it was for the best.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

After all Dean had done, all the people he had tortured and killed, Sam and Cas had found him, actually, Dean found them. He went to the bunker while Sam was looking for him, so Cas was alone. When Cas saw him, his eyes looked worried but relieved. He thought there was still a chance to save him. Cas walked towards Dean and he saw a strange look in his eyes.

•"Dean"

+"Stop. Don't move"

But Cas didn't stop, he kept walking towards Dean and only when he was close enough to touch him, he stopped. Dean looked at him, hate in his eyes, and started aproaching a hand to Cas but, suddenly he pushed him and started to punch him. They fought for a few minutes, destroying the living room and suddenly Dean said:

+"Don't move" Dean was pointing Cas with his gun.

Cas stopped, looking Dean in the eye.

+"Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you stop Sam? You could have saved Charlie. Why weren't you with her? She needed you" Tears started falling down his face "It's all your fault. You and Sam didn't listened to me and now Charlie is dead. I told him the book was dangerous and he didn't listen. Why he never listens to me?"

•"Dean. We love you. Charlie loved you. We wanted to help you, and that book might be the only chance we have to do that."

+"Shut up! You all keep saying that but, have you even thought that may be I don't want to be saved? That I have done so many awful things that I-"

Sam steped in and when he saw the scene, the bunker all messed up and Dean crying while pointing Cas with a gun, he knew he had to do something.

—"Dean. I-"

+"Don't say anything"

—"Dean, I need you to hear me, okay? You need to listen to this"

He looked at his brother, who was still pointing Cas.

—"You are my brother and I love you, so I'll always do whatever it takes to save you. You once told me that there's anything, past or present, that you'd put in front of me, and over ten years ago, you told me you were scared of the things you were willing to do for me and dad. So try to remember how much you care for me, or at least, how much you care for Cas. You've trusted him since the moment you met him, he's always been by your side, he took you out of Hell, he protected you in Purgatory. He's always been there for you and you know you love him too. You said once that he was family. I need my brother back, and Cas needs you too, we need you, and you need us. I know I've screwed it up so many times but that's why I need you, I need you ther to make me realize that I'm wrong. Dean, please, if not for me, do it for Cas. He has done nothing wrong, he-"

+"Okay, enough. So now you are telling me that I have to get back and forget that my little brother, whom I've forgiven everything he's done, even bringing the Apocalypse, who once told me he wouldn't save me as I did for him, is the cause that Charlie is dead!? The brother who has always disappointed me, first leaving for college, then trusting a demon over me and getting Lucifer out of the cage, not looking for me when I was in Purgatory for a whole year, whose Heaven doesn't have any mention of me, and I have to do that, why? Oh, yeah, because I love you? I also loved Charlie, Bobby, Kevin, dad, mum, Jo... Everyone, and they are all gone. Everytime I get close to anyone they end up dead or worse. I've already got both of you killed! I won't go back, so, what are you going to do? Uh? Tide me up in the dungeons again? I'm not a demon, you don't know how to cure me. It could take years finding the cure, are you willing to do that to your own brother you, as you said, you love?"

Sam put his hand in his pocket, what was not unnoticed by Dean.

+"What? Are you gonna put those handcuffs on me again? They're not gonna work, I told you, I'm not a demon. I-"

Dean put down the gun and looked at what Sam had in his hands.

+"What's that?"

Sam had the amulet on his hands, and he was showing it to Dean.

—"I gave you this when we were kids because I loved you and it was the only thing I could afford to give you. You never took it off, not once, for over 20 years you didn't, until you felt hurt because of my Heaven and you threw it away. So I picked it up waiting for the day you would be proud of me again. Then I heard what you said to that girl from the musical, you told her you didn't need a symbol to remind you how you feel about your brother, about me. But I think that now you do."

Sam could see tears falling down Dean's face, so he walked towards him to give him the amulet. Dean took it and stared at it for quite a long time, until he felt so much pain in his heart that he fell on his knees. Then he looked at his brother and then at Cas. He could see they were both hurt, physically and emotionally. He stared at Cas, locking his eyes in an eternal gaze, he knew he could understand him without any words being said.

•"Dean"

+"Cas" He said still crying. Cas couldn't bear seeing his human, the man he'd rebelled for in such state, so he took a step closer, trying to reach him, to hug him and tell him everything was gonna be okay.

+"Don't" He saw the hurt look in Cas' eyes. "How can you even look at me? I almost killed you. If Sam hadn't showed up I would have done it, I would have killed you. I don't deserve anything but hate from you, from both of you."

•"Dean. There's nothing you can do or say that will ever convince me of leaving you. I told you before, we love you and we care about you."

Dean couldn't stand looking at them, so he locked his eyes on the floor.

—"Dean, please. Talk to us, tell us how you feel. We won't judge you, you know that. We just won't to get our friend, our brother, back."

Then Dean looked up and started to get up, he felt like shit. Worse than ever before, he had always hated himself, hated what he saw everyday on the mirror. He had worn a mask all those years, that he had started to accumulate that hate day after day, but he never felt such a repulsion for any creature as he felt in that moment. Cas seemed to have read his thoughts because he came even closer to Dean, their bodys almost touching, and said:

•"When I met you I told that good things happen to people and when I said you didn't thought you deserved to be saved you knew I was right. But since that day I've been trying to make you see that you are a good man who deserve to be saved. I've seen your soul at your least, when you were torturing in Hell. Even then it was pure, that was the moment I realized that you would change me in ways I didn't know I could. You taught me about free will and you cared for me. Eventhough I've failed you, you still believed in me and you, against the odds, managed to forgave me. I know you hate yourself more than any of the creatures we've fought, but you shouldn't, you're a honorous and brave man who puts everybody's life before his own. You should be proud of yourself."

And with that, he wrapped his arms around his human, who pushed himself into the hug, loving the feel of his angel on his arms. He started crying again and Cas hugged him tighter, letting him know he loved him.

Dean, who was still holding the amulet in his hands, then turned to Sam, put the necklace around his neck, and went to where his brother was standing. Once there, he hugged him like all those times years ago. It was one of those hugs he used to let his little brother know how much he needed him, despites all the awful things he could tell him.


End file.
